The first week of school

Most teacher mommies have plenty of cute pictures of their little ones heading off to their first day of school, hair combed, and backpacks on. They could also likely show you photos of their new class, fresh and ready to go. I would like to be that Mommy. I yearn to be that Mommy. This year though, I'm just not. Instead, here's a "snapshot" of our first week of school, by the numbers:

• 1: phone call from daycare to come pick my child up ASAP
• 3: the number of days Aubrey had a temp of 102 degrees
  
• 3: episodes of explosive diarrhea, all in the middle of the night
• 2: vomiting sessions
• 1: strange, head to toe, polka-dot rash
  
• 4: calls to the doctor
• 1: trip to the pediatrician
• 5: changes of sheets
• 1: memorial service attended
• 1: missed birthday party
  
• 2: substitute teachers in my room in the first three days of school
• 168: miles my in-laws drove unexpectedly Thursday night to help us
• 487(ish): episodes of 'Little Einsteins' watched
  
• 0: the number of nights any of us experienced uninterrupted sleep
• infinity: the number of loads of laundry I've done in the past six days

We'll try again next year for that perfect photo.

Difficult day

Today was one of the most difficult days I've had, as both a teacher, and a working mom. This afternoon, on the first day of school, I left my class and attended a memorial service for a little girl who was to have been in fourth grade this year. Over the weekend, she was fatally injured in a car accident. She was well known to everyone at Templeton, and we will all miss her terribly.

The choice of where to be today and when however, was complex. Should I be with the students in my class, who had tragically lost a friend at just nine years old? Their little eyes were so sad as they stared at me, holding their newly sharpened pencils on their very first day in fourth grade. Several of them couldn't bear to attend the service.

Should I be at the service, saying goodbye and showing support for such a sweet girl's family? Surely they needed to know how many people felt a connection to their daughter.

Or, should I be at home, with my own baby girl, who was miserably enduring a 102 degree fever, and just wanted her own mommy to help her feel better? What a decision.

Ultimately, I left Aubrey in the care of her Daddy, greeted my class with my best attempt at first day enthusiasm, and left mid day to attend the service. Work: 1, Family: 0. That's how it feels. The delicate balance between work and home is sometimes enough to make a teaching mom insane. When I'm at work, I often feel guilty for the things I can't be doing with my girls, and when I'm at home, I feel like I should be doing a better job of being a teacher for "my other 26 kids."

I have come to the conclusion that there is no answer. I hate the fact that I know I could do better, both at home and at work, if there were just about 12 more hours in the day. For now, I must remind myself, that I will do my best as a teacher while I'm at school, and my best as a mom when I'm at home, and I will count my lucky stars that tonight, I was able to tuck both of my girls into bed...something that one mom can't do.

http://www.legacy.com/oregon/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=116880203

4 days down...180 to go

Well, we've made it. We've survived my first week back to work and the girls' first full week in daycare. We're all exhausted, cranky, and in serious need of this three day weekend, but we're still here to tell about it.

No matter how much I tried to anticipate and plan for it, my body and brain had forgotten just how grueling back to school time is. The breakneck pace of life as a teacher takes some getting used to, and it's amazing how much life slows down when you are not in the classroom.

The girls are adjusting well, though Camryn isn't thrilled about being woken up by me each morning, and Aubrey must be feeling a little wary of it all because she clings to me like a baby koala each evening...there is no shaking her until bedtime.

I hope it gets easier. That we settle into a routine. That my 5:15 alarm eventually doesn't seem to come quite so early, and that I can find a way to be mentally present every day.

If not though, at least I work in a profession where there is a defined end to each year. It's not too early to count down to June is it?

Six months

Our sweet baby girl is six months old! She is growing like a weed, and accomplishing new things every day. Her latest feats include rolling across the length of the living room, and sitting up on her own. She is also loving her solid foods (not a single sour face has been made), and trying to communicate more and more with her "words." Although she has made it known that when she truly opposes something, that she can get quite fired up, she is still very happy, and takes every opportunity to laugh at us. (Little does she know---or maybe she does---how appropriate that is.)

G is for Grrrrrrrrrrowl

"No." Camryn stated for about the forty-seventh time that day.

"Camryn, please come here."
"No."
"Will you pick up your spoon?"
"No."
"Make a good choice. You don't want a time out, do you?" (In my best sing-songy voice.)
"No."
"Would you like peas or carrots with your lunch?"
"No."

And that was the last straw.

"I do not want to hear you say 'No' to me one more time! You may not talk to Mommy that way. Do you understand?"
"Grrrrrrrrrrrr," she growled back at me.

Um, okay. Not sure how to react. I guess that technically wasn't a "No." Can't really argue. Must instead try not to laugh, but just...can't...help...myself.

And we both explode in giggles.

Picture Day!

I love it when we manage to get a good photo of the two girls together. (Nevermind the bribery involving animal crackers that allowed it to be possible...)

Look who's sitting up

It's no secret that Aubrey likes to be "where the action is," which explains why she prefers to be held facing outward. She wants to be held, up high, and see what we see. Perhaps that's why she is so pleased with herself lately, since she's just realized that she can sit up! This is a much preferred vantage point, in her opinion, to laying on her back with a view of the ceiling, or even on her tummy, where she must strain her neck to see what everyone is doing. She is loving it!

Practicing the tripod sit

Playing with toys upright (with the Mom-insisted cushiony back up of the Boppy, just in case.)