Dear Aubrey,
I'm not sure if I'm ready to say "Happy 4th Birthday," but apparently the time has come. Although I try very hard, it is difficult for me to see you as anything but my baby. I find myself with a skewed perspective of just how old you are, how big you've gotten, and how much you are capable of. I have become one of those moms who "babies" their youngest, but I just can't help myself. Fortunately, you are there to remind me with your strong opinions, and insistence of "I can do it!" You are the perfect paradox: my baby one minute, and my big girl the next.
It has been so fun to see you this year become a big cousin. You love all babies dearly, but you have a special place in your heart for your cousin Keira. You just can't help yourself when you hug and kiss her so much, that we must physically pull you away. It is in these moments that I am jolted back to reality, and realize that in comparison, you really are no longer the baby of the family. This realization makes me so proud of you, but a little sad as well.
Sometimes, I think you realize this internal struggle of mine, and even use it to your advantage. For being such a tiny thing, you are much more intuitive and mature than one might believe at first glance. You catch on quickly, noting what behavioral strategies work (and don't), and then utilizing this knowledge to your benefit with impeccable timing. You are a master at batting your eyelashes, and playing the "helpless baby girl," one minute, before turning around, and giving your big sister (or your father, or I) a serious tongue lashing the next. You are a tiny, but powerful force to be reckoned with, and I don't doubt for one minute that you will keep your father and me on our toes for years to come. :) Nowhere is this more apparent than at preschool. You rule the classroom with a tiny fist, and there is no one, big or small, who dares push you around. Some days, this is a bit of a problem, but most of the time, I admire your resolve.
When you are sweet though,...oh, you are so sweet. You still have the amazing ability to fold yourself up just right, and fit into my arms the way you did as an infant. You still love to be cuddled and rocked, and told stories about when you were a baby. While snuggling you, I could inhale forever the scent of your freshly washed hair...the perfect mixture of tiny girl sweetness and Johnson & Johnson's shampoo. It is in these moments that I am convinced you are still my baby.
So, even though it is time to wish you the happiest of birthdays, and celebrate heartily your accomplishments in the past 4 years, please know this. I am proud of you. I am amazed by you and all of your new found 'big girl' pursuits. I love you more than you will ever know. And no matter how old you get, you will always be my baby.
Happy Birthday, my tiny bean.
I love you.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
