Today was one of the most difficult days I've had, as both a teacher, and a working mom. This afternoon, on the first day of school, I left my class and attended a memorial service for a little girl who was to have been in fourth grade this year. Over the weekend, she was fatally injured in a car accident. She was well known to everyone at Templeton, and we will all miss her terribly.
The choice of where to be today and when however, was complex. Should I be with the students in my class, who had tragically lost a friend at just nine years old? Their little eyes were so sad as they stared at me, holding their newly sharpened pencils on their very first day in fourth grade. Several of them couldn't bear to attend the service.
Should I be at the service, saying goodbye and showing support for such a sweet girl's family? Surely they needed to know how many people felt a connection to their daughter.
Or, should I be at home, with my own baby girl, who was miserably enduring a 102 degree fever, and just wanted her own mommy to help her feel better? What a decision.
Ultimately, I left Aubrey in the care of her Daddy, greeted my class with my best attempt at first day enthusiasm, and left mid day to attend the service. Work: 1, Family: 0. That's how it feels. The delicate balance between work and home is sometimes enough to make a teaching mom insane. When I'm at work, I often feel guilty for the things I can't be doing with my girls, and when I'm at home, I feel like I should be doing a better job of being a teacher for "my other 26 kids."
I have come to the conclusion that there is no answer. I hate the fact that I know I could do better, both at home and at work, if there were just about 12 more hours in the day. For now, I must remind myself, that I will do my best as a teacher while I'm at school, and my best as a mom when I'm at home, and I will count my lucky stars that tonight, I was able to tuck both of my girls into bed...something that one mom can't do.
http://www.legacy.com/oregon/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=116880203
4 comments:
I am so proud of you and the way you balance your class and your family. You are a wonderful mother and teacher. Both sets of kids are very lucky to have you and they know it. Of that I am sure!
Oh Melanie--the grace and thoughfulness with which you are handling this difficult week indicate just how impressive you are as a mother and teacher. I'm so sorry for your loss.
You are very thoughtful, Mrs. Bailey! The last line in this article almost made me cry. I didn't even know Mikayla!
I wish I had though!
-Sarah Doan
You are such a sweet and amazing person! I know it's hard for you, but you are always so strong!
Post a Comment