Reality is looming

In the past few days, a sinking feeling has come over me. Like a rock, deep in the pit of my stomach, it's just sitting there, and it's not moving. It's the approach of August 1st.

August 1st, as all teachers know, signals the little hourglass in your head to start releasing sand, counting down the days left of carefree summer fun. The signs have been coming for awhile now. The back to school ads have been peeking out at me from my coffee table. The kids down the street are already suiting up for football practice. Aubrey begins daycare next week.**

But today was the clincher. I got my "friendly email reminder" that my three month Stroller Strides package had expired. Ugh. It was like a punch to the gut. Not only do I still need that class, but I feel a little cheated. That was my time. My connection to other mommies and friends. My routine as a temporary stay-at-home-mom. It was my thing. And now it's ending.

Now I have to start thinking about going back to the breakneck pace of living two lives: full time teacher and full time Mommy. I'm exhausted just thinking about it, and it makes me want to cry. Don't get me wrong. I do want to go back to work. I miss my coworker friends. I miss having relationships with kids who get my jokes and (sometimes) listen to my directions. I just don't miss it enough to want to give up the things I've been selfishly enjoying for nearly six months now. Like my Stroller Strides class. Like going to Costco in the middle of the morning on a Tuesday, when no one is there. Like making a doctor's appointment and not having to ask if they have a 4:30 slot available. Like getting laundry done during nap time so I'm not folding it in order to find my bed at 10:00 at night. In short, I rather enjoyed the freedom to decide how to spend my day.

I guess I should be thankful that I was able to have such an extensive maternity leave. Not many working moms can take six months to be at home and still have enough money to put dinner on the table. I have been lucky, and I recognize that. I just wish it all didn't have to end so soon......

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**Just a few hours at a time for the first few weeks, to build up my own resistance to the irrational urge I will have to race to the daycare in the middle of the day, snatch her up, run away and never look back. (I don't think that would be a good way to start my return to work after six months.)

Bailey family reunion

Last weekend, we were in Bend for the 2nd annual Bailey family reunion. Brian's uncles, aunts and cousins were all there, and Camryn had a great time playing with her (third?) cousins...not sure how many times removed...I never did understand how that works...

Anyway, we stayed four days with Brian's parents, and the girls enjoyed lots of Mimi and Papa time. We also got to visit with some of my college pals (great to see you, Sarah, Juli and Molly!), explore Bend's Children's Museum, splash around in the Juniper Park pool, and meet Uncle Rob's new puppy, Pace. As exhausting as it is traveling with small children, we had a great time. We can't wait to go back soon. Thanks, Mimi and Papa for putting up with us!

The Bailey clan

Playing at Mimi and Papa's

Daddy and Camryn at Juniper Park pool

Aubrey and Papa hanging out. She discovered his beard and is now intrigued. :)

Camryn loved spending time and being silly with Uncle Rob.

Neuro update

Well, we lucked out! We got a call the other day asking if we could bring Aubrey in to see the pediatric neurologist this week, (about a month before our scheduled appointment.) Of course, we obliged, and we visited Dr. H. on Wednesday.

Determined to get a concrete answer, we came prepared. I had a detailed list of Aubrey's episodes in the last two months: dates, times, circumstances, etc. We had also managed to get a few of them on video, so Brian edited a DVD of the events and brought his laptop to show the doctor what we've been experiencing. She was quite impressed, and happy that we had everything ready to share.

After talking extensively about Aubrey's (short) medical history, the episodes themselves, and viewing the video, Dr. H. concluded that these events are not neurological in nature. She was reassured by the normal EEG, and the fact that Aubrey is growing and devloping normally. She also noted that a seizure patient would not have the ability to do things like grab onto me for reassurance during these episodes.

So after we breathed a big sigh of relief, she encouraged us to pursue the possibility that this behavior is the result of some really wacky reflux. Both the vomiting, and the fact that the episodes often occur during feeding point in that direction. So far, the solids seem to be helping Aubrey's "spitty-ness" in general, and we have the go ahead from our pediatrician to try reflux meds, if we choose to.

Although it's difficult not to have a concrete diagnosis, we are so happy to know that Aubrey's neurological system does not seem to be the culprit. We are very thankful and so lucky to have such a happy, beautiful baby. Yay, Aubrey!

5 months

Hey everybody, Aubrey here (a.k.a. "Cheeks"). Guess what? I am 5 months old today! I now consider my self a big girl, and love to play with my sister all day long. I watch her constantly and smile and laugh for her always. I have really grown, and have begun to share my personality with everyone.

Some of my biggest accomplishments this month:

• My first haircut (a rather enjoyable experience!)
  
• Blowing raspberries
• Rolling from tummy to back
  
• Surviving four days and three nights without Mom (or rather, her surviving without me)
• Reaching for and pulling on toys
• Rotating 360 degrees unaided in my excersaucer
• Perfecting my "raking" motion with my fingers
• Wearing my first pigtails
• Eating my first solids
  
• Rolling from back to tummy
  
• My first swim in a pool
• Discovering that I'm super ticklish!!! :)
  
  

Camping out

Only during the summer can a little girl enjoy "camping" in the back yard with her daddy, and get up to enjoy morning cartoons! :) Ahhhh...what a life!

Rice Cereal!

Tonight Aubrey got her first taste of "real" food (if you can call it that)...a few teaspoons of rice cereal. Yum-mo! One bite, and she was hooked! She got the hang of the "open mouth = get food" thing right away, and kept asking (grunting) for more.

Big bite!

Dribble...

The aftermath. Am I in trouble for making a mess, Mom?

This solid food thing is AWESOME!

Eight years

Brian and I on our wedding day. Man, were we good looking (and skinny!) ;)

Today is our eight year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it...it feels like just yesterday that we celebrated in 98 degree heat with our friends and family. We certainly have been through a lot together in eight years, both good and bad. Some of the highlights (and lowlights) by the numbers:

• Three moves
• The purchase of one home
  
• The addition of our "first child," our kitty Maggie
  
• The deaths of one grandparent and two close friends
• Four pregnancies: two losses and the birth of two beautiful daughters
• The making of countless new friends
• Watching two of those best(est) friends move away
• Two teaching jobs
• Too many coaching jobs to count
  
• The death of our "dog"(big orange cat), Jack
• Traveling to four states, and one foreign country
  
• Three bouts with kidney stones (I had to throw that one in there!)
• One car accident
• One dislocated shoulder
  
• Three years of graduate school for Melanie
• Unending years of graduate school for Brian :)
  
• And so much more!!!

No matter what happens, though, there's no one I'd rather experience the highs and lows with than you, Honey. Happy Anniversary!