Poor Baby / Scared Mommy

In the last few weeks, Aubrey has given us a bit of a scare. Several times, usually while eating and drifting to sleep, she has made a sudden jerking motion. She balls up her hands into little fists, and pulls them tight to her chest or cheeks, pulling her legs up to her tummy, and dropping her chin to her chest. She's totally tense for a few seconds and sometimes has a blank stare as well. During these 3-5 seconds "episodes" as we've come to call them, she is unresponsive to our voices or touch. Once they pass however, she is not scared or hurting, but instead goes about her business happily.

After a few of these, I was freaked out enough to call the pediatrician. Of course we spoke to the Dr. on call, who did little more than say, "Hmmm..." and scratch her head. She was stumped. She suggested we try feeding Aubrey in a slightly upright position, in case the episodes had something to do with reflux. We did, and the episodes seemed to subside, and so we wrote them off as freakish baby heartburn.

Well yesterday, the episodes returned with a vengeance. She had about eight over the course of the day, which prompted me to call the pediatrician in a panic and insist we be seen. Luckily, we were able to see our own Dr. who is tentatively exploring three different avenues:

1. It could, in fact be reflux, which apparently causes all sorts of strange symptoms and behaviors. However, if it were, Aubrey would likely be showing signs of discomfort associated with spitting up acid-y milk. She has yet to seem bothered by it at all, however.
   
2. It could be forceful myoclonic jerks, affectionately known as "those full body jerks that happen just when you're drifting off to sleep, and jolt you instantly awake." Apparently, they can be quite pronounced in babies. She's not sure about that though, because they aren't always happening when she's going to sleep, just usually.
3. Or, it could be some type of seizure. Not the full-body, shaking-on-the-floor-type everyone thinks about, but the blank stare, "I'm here, but I'm not here" type. She wasn't sure about this option either though, because usually there is some type of repetitive movement associated with these, even if it's just a repeated fluttering of eyelashes, or a hand moving back and forth. Either way, we really, really, really hope it's not seizures.

However, to be safe, and rule out the worst case scenario, Dr. D. suggested further testing. So, this Monday at 9:15 a.m. Aubrey will undergo her first ever (and hopefully only!) electroencephalogram, or EEG. That's the one where they stick lots of little suction cup-looking things with wires onto your scalp and measure your brain waves while you sleep. Apparently babies who have seizures or forms of epilepsy have different brain wave patterns than babies who don't. Even while sleeping, these patterns emerge.

So needless to say, I am petrified. From what I understand, it won't hurt her at all, and shouldn't even be uncomfortable for her. We're supposed to bring her into the appointment feeling tired so that she'll be sleeping and still for the test. It will all be over in an hour and a half, and then a pediatric neurologist will read the scan, and our Dr. will get back to us. Just the thought of seeing my baby hooked up to such a scary looking contraption is enough to make my heart race. I just hope, hope, hope that the results are normal, and that we can begin to explore other, more tolerable, manageable, and benign avenues.